The sixth series of Doctor Who starts on Saturday so, for no other reason but that I did it last year, here are some of my predictions:

Not really any spoilers, but some of my speculations may be spoilers if they turn out to be true.

Unlike previous years, this series is split into two halves. This upcoming first one will comprise seven episodes, ending on a cliffhanger that will be resolved when the show returns for the six-episode second half of the series in the autumn. Between the two halves of the series, Torchwood will return with it’s fourth series (something of a revival) for ten weeks; I’ve not been looking into Torchwood too much so I know next to nothing about what’s happening, except that it’s entirely set in the States and will not feature Ianto Jones, stop whining, fangirls/fanboys! I’m quite excited for the split in the series as it means twice the number of “event” episodes and it will massively reduce the amount of time between two fixes of Who.

I’m anticipating this series a great deal because it will, reportedly, finally answer the questions we’ve been asking since…well, last year. Steven Moffat, in his first capacity as Executive Producer and Head Writer of Doctor Who, went to a great deal of trouble to set up a story arc that should get resolved in this series. I’m pretty certain Moffat will tie up all the loose ends this year because if he keeps dragging it out and setting things up then the more the audience will expect at the eventual pay-off, and the more it will disappoint. If he wraps it up this year and it’s as supremely awesome as he’s indicated, then it’ll be brilliant, if not he might get some angry Who fanboys writing pissy little blog posts…

I get the impression that each episode of this series will be far more continuity heavy than usual, in the past every episode has had some vague allusion to the finale but we only really get something particularly involved with the overall plot every four or five episodes. If we’re going to reach a cliffhanger by episode 7, it’ll need to be pretty snappy; this will mean fewer “filler” episodes, where it’s just a man in a blue box running into famous faces from history and fighting some weird monster, which I slightly lament, but it’ll mean more fan-wank, which I slightly love. Not to mention, from the synopsis, trailers and a few spoilers I’ve read of the first episode, the story arc will be established pretty sharpish.

Something interesting is that the fourth episode of the series is called ‘The Doctor’s Wife’, a title previously assigned to River Song in some future adventure as yet unseen. Evidently, the title doesn’t actually refer to Song and is being linked to a one-shot character in that episode; dressed in a blue, Victorian style garb despite the backdrop indicating a setting in the future on a different planet. My gut feeling is that this is some sort of manifestation of the TARDIS, it’s repeatedly referred to using female pronouns and is the only real constant companion of The Doctor’s to speak of. This may also be bolstered by the glimpse in the trailer of Amy and Rory (I reckon he’s for the chop for real this time, by the way) in the TARDIS console room seen during the Eccleston and Tennant era, as well as some mutterings about seeing more of the TARDIS interior, so that’s my bet. However, the episode in question, which is being penned by writing legend Neil Gaiman, has been referred to as a “gamechanger”, so we’ll see.

As for River Song, a soundbite in the trailer heard her saying, “Today’s the day he finds out who I am.” Moffat is a connasseur of the Red Herring so this could be some out-of-context thing that will make little difference to the story, but I think we will need a lot more detail on River’s identity to be satisfied, if not the entire story. I think it’s one of the strengths of the character that we don’t fully know River’s background, so a grand unveiling seems unlikely, but we’ll certainly get more information.

The previous series was awash with constant references to “Silence”. I took that to be the abstract concept as the result of some universal cataclysm that would rock up at the end of the series, but apparently not. By the looks of it, “The Silence” are some race of alien creatures with a particularly nasty, though as yet undisclosed, means of killing people; how, or even if, they hijacked the TARDIS to cause the explosion that caused the Time Field cracks remains a mystery, but I doubt it. Likely the “Silence will fall” mantra refers to an even bigger game of wordplay that will lead inextricably to one central main villain. For some reason, the finale can’t really seem threatening if it’s directed at an entire race with only anonymous individuals, so a main villain has to come from it somehow. Possibly some “leader” of the Silence but I can’t shake the feeling it’s going to be some baddy we’ve already seen either since the revival or from the classic series, just to keep the continuity-bitches (yo) happy.

So that’s my take. I’ll do a review of the episode when it’s been broadcast, though bear in mind that the opening episode is a two-parter, the former of which is usually a disappointing setup, reserve judgement on the series at least until episode three.

Trailer Time!

Also, very sad to hear the news of Elisabeth Sladen passing away. Like many people, including Fourth Doctor actor Tom Baker reportedly, I didn’t even know she was suffering from cancer. A tribute program will be broadcast on Saturday immediately after ‘The Impossible Astronaut’ on the CBBC channel.

Update: The cast of Who did an interview for BBC America the other day and when asked who River Song is NOT they said that in Episode 7 (the last episode of this half) we will absolutely find out who she is. Karen Gillan, who plays Amy Pond, also let slip that the character that she is was introduced during the David Tennant era, which narrows it down a LOT. I don’t think it’s a regenerated version of Jenny, The Doctor’s daughter, because of the intimacy implied between River and The Doctor, plus Jenny was always characterised as a child and I think putting her in the body of this fairly mature actress is inhibitive for that purpose. It could be Lady Christina De Souza from Planet of the Dead given there was a throwaway line suggesting she was a Time Lord even though she was apparently human. The only other female character that was significant enough to make the payoff worthwhile is The Woman, from The End of Time, David Tennant’s swansong, whose identity was largely a mystery. It could be some reincarnated form of Astrid Peth, one-shot companion from the 2008 Christmas Special Voyage of the Damned. At the end of that episode, her character dies but is partially restored by The Doctor who, though he cannot give her a corporeal form, allows her restored molecules, her conciousness with it, to float away into space. It annoys me that we still have to wait 7 weeks to find out, possibly more if they fuck about with Eurovision!

I’m becoming increasingly disillusioned by CES. The annual parade touting the self-proclaimed “technology revolution of the year” that is more often that not avoided by those who actually do end up making a difference (not a revolution, if they occured as many times as marketing people like to say I’d never sleep).

January 2010 saw the CES filled with 3D televisions, eBook readers and tablet computers; along with a bright-eyed blogger who spent hours pouring over reports and videos to explain what a delightful time the next twelve months would be for technology, and how important everything we saw then would be. That stupid fuckwit was me.

Let’s look back, shall we? Tablet Computers: bleepy little touchscreens that lacked all the basic necessary features of a laptop that we were convinced, somehow, that we needed if only to fufill the tech-geeks sci-fi fantasy. CES 2010 promised a plethora of choice, a veritable feast of different form-factors, operating systems and features. Sadly, every single tablet that was flaunted at CES was ten minutes off the drawing board, rushed into reality by a bunch of pushy marketing people eager to try and get the most possible coverage at the only consumer-tech show that seems worth bothering with. As a result, the ill-informed reps ended up making all manner of impractical, expensive and in some cases impossible promises about what it could do; meaning that the company can now either release a comparatively disappointing product or keep pushing the release date back to try and include these features. By the time all the hard-work is done, some other big company who didn’t waste their time trying to outdo everyone else at Las Vegas’ annual dick-swinging contest have already released the product you had six months ago but gained such ubiquity that you might as well sell your tablet as a fucking coffee table. The HP Slate held our only hopes against Apple’s inevitable release of the iPad, but they’re perpetual dicking around has left everyone stupid enough to take in the hype clutching an iPad and the remainder of the potential market indifferent to tablets. Well fucking done there.

eBook Readers, something that’s much more my style, were set to explode in choice this year too. CES would’ve had more eInk screens that LCD if that hadn’t been wildly impractical for marketing. Nonetheless, knowing the restrictions that buying a Kindle, the iPod of the eReader world, would place on us, we needed a champion to offer the same functionality but with ePub support. Maybe I’m not getting a full view being, as I am, in the UK, but it seems to me that the slow-to-ship competitors were themselves the architect of their own destruction. The timely price-reduction and rejuvenation of the Amazon Kindle back in late July was the final nail in the coffin. All the competitors that CES played host to are as good as dead now, whilst Amazon (who, unsuprisingly, didn’t attend) are laughing their way to the eBank.

3D Televisions are still such a work-in-progress that it’s not even worth going into. 3D was a good gimmick in pubs to begin with, but even moronic football fans, who would be contented with a tyre and a rope, lost interest after a while. However, it’s not as annoying here because, after all, 3D was always a dubious endeavour: a near-total paradigm shift that most couch-potatoes were not willing to be drawn into. Yet. 3D will continue to survive in poorly-written kids films and movies with flashy graphics but, much like The Gregory Brothers, will struggle to go mainstream. With significant developments to the technology, it might just work; but only if it’s handled well. Companies like Sony and Panasonic, who so eagerly started selling technology that they know is in it’s infancy, will look foolish in the end.

In short, what I’m saying to all companies is this: Avoid CES! You’ll look pompous by loosing your sickening marketing pricks on us, you’ll be touting a half-baked product that won’t do half the stuff you claim it to when it’s finally released. Instead, stay at home working on your stuff, release as soon after CES as possible if the product is ready and watch what happens.